How to rent a movie just by reading the box....
Actors
There are certain actors that never get offered good movie scripts and so no matter how good the blurb on the back of the video box sounds, the movie is bad. Some examples are movies with Danny Devito (post-1990), Brooke Shields, any male cast member of Friends.
Morgan Freedman will act in anything they pay him to act in so beware, some of his movies are bad and some are good and some are great.
Harrison Ford has good taste and you can always count on his movies being, if not great, at least entertaining.
Producers.
Just because a producer had a hit movie, does not mean that they can win the lottery twice so don’t be swayed by “Produced by the Producers of (fill in the blank)”. The same does not apply to directors.
Movies produced by Julian Lennon are all bad.
Reviews.
If a movie has no blurbs from reviewers, it is a lousy movie.
If a movie has blurbs from magazines you have never heard of, it is probably a lousy movie.
If the blurb trumpets the costumes or soundtrack and nothing else, it is probably a lousy movie.
Beware movies which are “audience favorites” at obscure film festivals like the San Diego Film Festival, Tucson Film Festival, Taos Film Festival (now defunct), etc. Well, any festival that is not Cannes or Sundance is obscure to me.
“Audience favorites” at Sundance is no guarantee of anything.
Directors.
Directors Ridley Scott and Martin Scorsese can always be counted on to make entertaining, if not great movies.
Director Terry Gillian (The Adventures of Barron Von Muchausen) always makes movies that beg for some editing (shortening).
Michael Landon Jr.’s movies are so sweet they give you diabetes from watching them. His movies are for those who pine for an innocent time that never existed. Avoid.
Directors/Writers.
Movies written and directed Noel Braumlauch (The Squid and the Whale) are hit and miss affairs.
Movies by Sofia Copolla (Lost in Translation) mesmerize the movie making cognoscenti but bore everyone else.
Sarah Polly (Away from Her) always writes and directs good thoughtful movies.
With the exception of Lions for Lambs, movies written, directed, or acted in by Robert Redford are usually good if not great. See Harrison Ford above.
Writers.
Avoid Nicholas Sparks. He must laugh to himself on how much money he has made from this stuff. See Michael Landon Jr. above. For sugar addicts only.
Companies.
Film Movement movies are always bad.
New Mexico
Dramatic movies about Northern New Mexico and it’s people (as opposed to movies filmed in New Mexico) are usually bad. For example, Taos: The Movie, Bless Me Ultima, O’Keefe, Running Wild, etc. Exception: Milagro Beanfield War which is ok but not great and not as good as it could have been (see Robert Redford above) and Spoken Word. Ok, I admit it, I did not watch Bless Me Ultima.
Reviewers
Thumbs up for Roger Ebert reviews.
Thumbs up for Rex Reed reviews.
Thumbs down for NY Post reviews
Any recommendations by Entertainment Weekly are suspect. I mean, these are the people that think Prince's Purple Rain is the second best album of all time (Beatles Rubber Soul number one).
Five chiles for Santa Fe New Mexican reviews
Barf for Santa Fe Reporter reviews.
Foreign Films
British humor is not American humor and may not be humor at all.
Foreign language films are generally good because only the cream of the crop gets imported to the US market.
Miscellaneous
Any movie that has to put "sex" in the title to sell it is probably a poor movie.
